knew it wasn't ok

birth plan followed to the letter, until she was born
floppy and purple
no skin-to-skin no breast milk no waiting for the cord to be cut.
That silence and the huddled group in the corner the hush
the placating phrases
my hair being stroked.

Jenny McCarthy and how it went ok for her, made me think it will be ok for me.

funny

miss you

spoken over and over
sounds like

my shoe

nose

A cold
stuffy nose

or a crying fit
that ended after
the typical 30
seconds

Beauty of Paper

If I journal

using paper

the colors changes and the paper folds, it keeps the evidence that my hands were working sweating and dirty

here this computer hums and the colors are bright

logos, fonts, links and distractions

For every snow storm or sad moment

I will jump rope